Out of my-out of my head...getout

Im having bad thoughts. Get out of my head. I know what would hurt her, but it would also make me look bad. Dont know if i care, but i think i do...

Its a struggle not to stoop that low...

I know im blaming them for all of this. And more her. I believe i explained why.
My mind is not clear enough to see my part in all this, although i know its in here somewhere. I know i cant blame them for it all, but i also know what they did was wrong. That will be my main focus for now.

Part of me wants to see her, needs to see how i react when i do. Maybe i should let her see me break down. Maybe i should not wait til im over it, so she might think its wasnt all that bad...