They just cant leave me alone

Like i said, i was starting to feel good again, didnt have to fight the tears every day.

I realize that was just because i was pushing all that shit to the back of my mind, not thinking about it, hoping it would go away. i felt calm. i still do, but it scares me. I feel hate. i feel like i hate D and A. I hate them both.

Its quite difficult, cause im a lover, not a hater, i never hate, always forgive.
I think that might be why D acts like he does, he doesnt know how i feel, he doesnt know im capable of these horrible feelings. I feel like if I see her now, ill smack the shit out of her. Ill hurt her, for real. Ill beat her up, kick her, slap her, bite her, pull her hair, rip her clothes. I want her to suffer. Cause she knew D´s and my history, she knew I was with him, but still made plans to see him, knowing what we had.

I think she wishes she could take it all back, but she cant.

I dont and never will keep people like her around. Someone who is able to do what she did. Its plain horrible. What if I would start dating my friends dude the DAY after he dumped her? isnt that fucked up? Thats what i meant about waiting.

If i fell in love with my friends man, id wait. Id tell him, there is no way we can do this to her as long as she is hurt about you breaking up with her. She has to move on, be happy, THEN we can tell her we are in love.

But for me to hear that shit the same week he dumps me? The same week he ruins my dreams? And then she expects me to be cool with seeing them toghether already? How the fuck does tour brain work? really? I know you, A, have friends who feel you are the most egotistical woman they know, now i understad exactly what they meant.